Tag Archives: randy moss

AFC Football… and More Asses

I don’t waste time, so here are my AFC picks for 2010.  I know that the season already started, but these are long-term picks, not spur-of-the-moment.  People make too much of Week 1 anyways.  Teams are rusty, holdouts come in late (see Brett Favre), but my picks will be there at the end because I say so.  So there.

AFC East: New England Patriots

I hate the Patriots.  They are smug assholes, especially that Bellicheck.  I know I spelled it wrong but I don’t care, I hate him.  But they still have the best team in the division.  Their defense is shaky but that offense with a healthy Wes Welker and a sober Randy Moss is nearly unstoppable and can put up enough points to make up for their suspect D.

Hey Tom you got any weed?

The Jets are talented on defense and can run the ball, but QB Mark Sanchez is young and the offense struggles too much.  I love the Dolphins too, but the Patriots are gonna win.  Tear.

AFC North: Balitmore Ravens

This would be an easy pick considering they beat the Jets in Week 1, but I’m fine with that.  As a Rutgers alum I have an awkwardly passionate love for Ray Rice, so I’m somewhat biased.  The passing game has been greatly improved via the addition of wide outs Anquan Boldin and TJ H… I won’t try spelling that one.

Ray Rice

Thus the Ravens finally have a running and passing game to match their nasty D.  The Steelers will miss Ben Rapist-berger, and the Bengals don’t have the offense to match the Ravens.

AFC South: Tennessee Titans

This one’s tough because the typical pick is the Colts, but their running game is non-existent, and their defense can’t stop the run.  The Texans are the sexy pick, but they always find a way to lose so I have zero faith in them.  The Titans have Chris Johnson.  And Vince Young is pretty dumb but he is still a very good QB.

AFC West: San Diego Chargers

Their division sucks.  Oh and Phillip Rivers is great.  But really, their division just sucks.

Wild Card: Indianapolis Colts and New York Jets

Peyton Manning’s magic will get the Colts into the playoffs, but they can’t win the division.  They did already lose to the Texans.

The Jets have the defense to shut teams down, but they will struggle to score with talented AFC teams like the Patriots within their own division.

Wild Card Round:

Chargers def. Jets 16-13

Colts def. Ravens 28-14

Divisional Round:

Titans def. Colts 21-10

Patriots def. Chargers 34-24

AFC Championship:

Titans def. Patriots 17-10

Super Bowl:

Titans def. Vikings 27-21

And the Titans win the Super Bowl!  Yay, and Brett Favre retires, for good.  I hope…

Hell even I don't know

But who cares about all that?  Here’s the ass: