Nice Asses and NFL Football

I love sports in September.  Baseball is boring as hell, and I would rather watch fake NFL games than real anything (by “fake” I mean “pre-season”).

So now everyone is talking up their teams, caught up in stupid holdouts and off-season drama, hoping for what ain’t gonna happen: I’m talking to you Jets fans! You’re not going to the Super Bowl so just shut up already!!!!!!

I digress, the point is everyone has their favorite team and everyone thinks theirs will go 16-0.  Even the Rams have hope.  Luckily I’m here to predict the NFC division winners for the 2010 season.  And I’ll help you not sound like a complete idiot when arguing with your buddies!

NFC East: Dallas Cowboys

The Cowboys will pull out the division because, well just look at their depth chart.  They are stacked at every position on offense and defense.  They have questions at Left Tackle, but there is still young talent there.  And Tony Romo has plenty of targets to hurl to, probably throwing a lot of interceptions along the way, but still winning games.  Sorry Giants fans, but Eli’s broken face shows that their Offensive Line is old and stupid.

This would never have happened to my brother!

If you can’t convert a hand-off, you have major issues.  Ultimately their defense just isn’t what it was that Super Bowl year.

NFC North: Minnesota Vikings

The least creative pick ever, but the obvious one.  The Packers will be quite good, putting up big offensive numbers along the way, and they will end up a wild-card team.  But Minnesota is virtually the same team as last year, minus wide outs Sidney Rice and a healthy Percy Harvin.  They can run, defend the run, and pass the ball.  Their pass defense is not quite up to par with the rest of the team, but it is still not bad.

NFC South: Atlanta Falcons

Yeah, the Saints won the Super Bowl.  But unless there is another hurricane in New Orleans in the next week, the NFL isn’t gonna give the Saints another title.  Oops, my bad.  The NFL doesn’t fix games…

What's this doing here?

Anyways, the Falcons win because they have the best running game in the division, a young and improving QB in Matt Ryan, and a defense that will no doubt be better than last year.  The Saints are just too weak on defense to have another “magic” season.

NFC West: San Fransisco 49ers

Niners fans rejoice that Kurt Warner isn’t Brett Favre and won’t come back from retirement to steal your division!  Thus the 49ers win the West because they have a beast in Frank Gore, also Patrick Willis and a nasty defense.  They do so in spite of QB Alex Smith who is not a #1 overall draft pick, that is clear.  Their weak schedule will be the biggest help for them to end up on top at the end of the year.

Wild Card: Green Bay Packers and New Orleans Saints

The Packers have possibly the best passing attack in the league, but a poor running game and an inconsistent defense.  You could say the same for the Saints. Yeah, I’ll go with that.

Wild Card Round:

Saints def. Falcons 27-20

Packers def. 49ers 31-13

Divisional Round:

Vikings def. Saints 24-21

Packers def. Cowboys 23-16

NFC Championship:

Now this is just confusing

Vikings def. Packers 21-17

Tune in next week and I’ll tell you who plays the Vikings in the Super Bowl on the AFC side!!  Yay!

Oh yeah here’s an ass for you:

Not bad huh? Here’s a front view:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s